Lost and Found
by Rini1
Summary: Heero finds a mysterious girl, can he find out who she is, and how to help her... warnings: self-infliction, ooc, lime... please just r/r my summaries suck.
1. Part one: Mysterious Meeting

A/N: This was the first fic. I wrote, and decided to post it here. So my minor Japanese words in here might suck, so just laugh at them and keep reading. Contains cutter, and slight lime, maybe? No lemon though. Anyway, please r/r and ***** mean change of scene. Also, I'm not sure how to get what I had italicized to do so, which indicated thoughts so I hope you can tell the difference, anyone know how to get the italic please tell me.  
  
Lost and Found  
  
   Well, here goes another day. Walking out of the shadows, she pulled the neck of her black coat up. The rain had started, and she didn't want to be noticed. Hey but desperate times call for desperate measures am I right? She walked by a few booths, examining the market, her next target. Taking what she could she trench on.  
  
  Not looking where she was going, she ran into a young man.  
  
"Hey otoko! Watch where your…" She trailed off. The man just stood there with anger in his eyes that grew a dark blue. He's no older than me, but something's different about that guy.  
  
 He just looked at her, with those eyes. They stood there for a minute, with their eyes interlocked.  
  
 "Heero! Heero! Where are you," A voice interrupted. Another boy ran up behind them. He had a large grin on his face looking at his silent friend.  
  
 "There you are come on we have to go. Heero…?" He turned to see what Heero was looking at, his long braid bouncing as he turned. Well, what do we have here, Heero did you find yourself a girl? "Well, well Heero I never though you could find someone. She's a cutie too; I'm jealous. Hey, have any friends like you?"  
  
 The girl blushed, and Duo's smile widened.  
  
So his name is Heero, well Heero it's nice to meet you. She nodded her head towards the two, her hair falling into her face, pushing it back she smirked.  
  
"Well, you two must be new in these parts. I haven't seen you around, and trust me I'd remember you two." She said sticking out her hands, as she looked around "Hello, and welcome to Hell's vacation location, some people call me the Shadow Spinner, though known as many thing I mostly go by Hoshi, I hope you enjoy your stay, sayonara." She laughed, and walked away.  
  
  Duo turned to Heero, a smirk on his face. "So who's the girl? Surprisingly she reminds me of you."  
  
Heero gave Duo a scornful look and walked away. Duo sighed and walked after Heero.  
  
   The gundam pilots had been in the colonies for 'business' reasons. Heero had been to this colony before; he had been in this area and had gotten a hint that the enemy had a hideout here. His eyes were darting from side to side, not missing a thing. But his mind was elsewhere, all she could think about was that girl. He was upset, and Duo's endless chatter wasn't helping at all.  
  
 Who is she, and why is she tormenting me like this? Her laugh, and her smile caressing me still, those eyes boring into my soul. I'll find out who she is, I am the perfect solider I have to. Hoshi-Chan, Little Star don't you worry…  
  
                                                     ***************  
  
   She traveled through the streets, hiding in the shadows, like an animal looking for its prey. Making sure the street was clear, Hoshi snuck across to an abandoned building. Her eyes like a cat, letting nothing escape; she snuck into the building unnoticed.  
  
    Her footsteps echoed in the empty corridor. Hushed voices whispered through the building, like a breeze in the midsummer night. Hoshi laughed and cupped her hand around her mouth, "Olli, Olli oxen free, kon'nichi wa?!" She shouted, "it's me, come on out, don't worry."  
  
 Giggles and sighs came from the walls. Children ran from upstairs, and down. Surround Hoshi like she was Chris Cringle. The youngest child waltzed up to her and smiled. Bending over Hoshi picked her up.  
  
 "What did ya bring us today, Hoshi-San?" The children asked. Emptying her pockets, and bag she spread her goods onto a table near by. The children were in aw with what they saw; toys, food, a few clothes, and some other necessities. Grabbing what they could, each hugged Hoshi, and ran to put their new belongings in their rooms. The eldest child, no older than twelve, stepped up to her bowing his thanks.  
  
 "You don't know how much you help us, arigato Hoshi-San," he said bowing again.  
  
Hoshi just smiled, at him and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed for a second, but regained his position, making her laugh. "No need to be so serious, you are like my brothers and sisters I neva had. So, I have to look out for you. Times will get better, and I'll help you all get through." Smiling to reassure him she continued. "I'll be back tomorrow though I don't know what time. The Feds are looking for me, so I have to watch out. But don't worry about me. You keep an eye that little one for me, k?"  
  
 He nodded his head in agreement. "Of course, I know how much you care about her."  
  
"Yea Sora-Chan, she is so much like me when I was younger..." Her voice trailed off, standing there in a trance for a minute. Snapping out of it she laughed. "Shish, I sound like some old lady, eh?" She walked towards the door; looking back she smiled softly at the children. Reassuring them that she would be back. Waltzing out the door, Hoshi went down the street. Time to get to work, ne Hoshi. Hey maybe the fates will be on your side and you'll run into that guy, Heero, again. Someday Heero well meet again… Laughing to herself Hoshi disappeared into the shadows of an ally, deep in the heart of the colony. Someday…  
  
***********  
  
    It was driving him crazy, he had hacked into every file in this godforsaken colony, and there wasn't a profile on a girl named Hoshi.  
  
 "Damnit," he yelled pounding his fist on the desk, making the others look up at the Japanese Pilot. Heero's, not looking at the others; steel blue eyes went back to the screen scanning through the files again.  
  
Duo strolled up behind him glancing at the screen.  
  
"Hey Heero whatch ya doing?" Heero's eyes keep on the screen; not analogizing Duo had said anything. Duo sighed Heero, why let that girl get to you? You've never been like this before.  
  
Duo sat back down on the couch, Quatre had been watching, and Quatre, being kind-hearted, wanted to know what was wrong. "Duo," he nearly asked in a whisper, "what's wrong with Heero?"  
  
 Duo shrugged raising a hand and tilts his head. "We were in that part of the colony ya know where the Feds are suppose to be? Well, we ran into some girl. She was a cutie too, honto no Heero?" Duo smirked and turned to Heero. Heero turned around with a look on his face that took the smirk off of Duo in an instant. Strolling over to Duo, he looked at him for a second, and punched him in the nose.  
  
 "Hey! What did you do that for, baka! And the face, why the face!" It really didn't hurt; Duo just wanted to make a commotion of everything. He stood up gazing at Heero. "Well, it's the truth is it not, I saw the way that ya looked at her, hum."  
  
 Trowa got up and stood between Heero and Duo. "Stop this now, unless you want to die right now Shinigami I suggest you leave him alone." Heero snorted and went back to his computer. Duo sat back down. After crossing his eyes, to examine his nose, he continued with his story.  
  
   Later that night, Heero lay in his bed. He could not sleep he kept thinking about that girl. Yelling in his mind, he shot up from his bed. After he pulled on his shirt and shoes, he snuck out into the night. Treading down the street, Heero went back to the market from this morning. Tracing his steeps, not leaving anything out. An hour later, he sat down on a bench. Leaning his head back, and closing his eye that conversation ran through his mind. …Come on Heero, it's just a girl. Like Relena, she's just a girl. Why can't I get over her? I see her face everywhere…  
  
   Shouts and shots from guns hushed the silence of the night. Heero jumped up, groping for his gun, returning to his lost self. The Feds, I've found you, come out come out… I'm ready. There was no one around, though. Heero confused, scanned the area. Who are you after then?  
  
(Please cont. to part two) 


	2. part two: bloodshed and a new friend

(wow you made it to part two? Go figure, please r/r)  
  
   "K'So! How did they find me?" Hoshi had been walking down the street, when there was a gunshot, the bullet grazing by her ear. Now, she was running for her life. Damn Feds! I have to get away; I won't let you get me again. I won't let you win. She glanced back; there were five soldiers after her. Dogging to the left she rolled into an ally way. Looking around, she saw an escape ladder; she climbed up onto one of the roofs, and continued, jumping the rooftops. On the streets below the soldiers weren't far behind, yelling at her "Rebel trash, we'll get you, you won't get away this time!" One shouted.  
  
   Hoshi just laughed, but she reached the end of the line. The rooftops had run out. "Well, here goes nothing…" She jumped from the building, plummeting head on towards the ground. Lucky for her, there had been at dumpster she did a flip just in time and landed on it rolling off. She heard the guns in the back, but continued to run. Reaching a dead end she stopped. Turning back she started the other way, but out of a shadow a soldier appeared. She saw him as she ran by knowing it was too late to do anything. "Found you" He snickered. Hoshi just glared at him, returning to running.  
  
    She heard him pull out his gun, but she knew she couldn't stop. He pulled the trigger back, and shot. The bullet hit her, but he didn't stop after one time he shot her three other times. She fell over, and he laughed a cruel laugh that pierced the soul. Hoshi winced slightly in pain, arose to her feet. The soldier stopped laughing his mouth opened, dumbfounded, and scared.  
  
 Looking down at herself, seeing the blood seeping from her body she forced a laugh, "Well, this isn't exactly my beauty day, now is it? Can't get rid of me that easy, you baka, and you're out of bullets too, but…" She pulled out a gun, "I'm not, now whatch ya going to do pretty boy?"  
  
 She dragged herself to him, being shot in the leg and arm twice, but she wouldn't give up. She couldn't it was he mission to survive, and kill, her game of life, was deadly but she can't change what the Fates wanted her to do. He's not much older than me. I got a new recruit good. Being only about twenty, the solider had never seen anyone like her before, he had heard about the gundam pilots from five years ago, but no one was near to them, could there be. He was scared to death, and backed up to a wall.  
  
 "So, in this school of yours, I hope they taught you to be prepared… to die."  
  
She talked to him, about death and what it feels to die. She had a plan, to kill the guy; I really hope this works, since she had no bullets either.  
  
 Pointing the gun in the middle of his forehead, the signs of angry and pain in her face, "You killed my family, friends, and destroyed my home. Now its your turn…"  
  
 She pulled back the trigger, his face when blank. It had started to rain again, so no one could tell that she was crying. The ground was sleek so, Heero had slid into the ally. He had killed the other soldiers, and was on the hunt for more blood… to find the last one. His eyes widened in shock. It's her, Hoshi-Chan, I found you.  
  
 Hoshi noticed someone else was here, but she couldn't bother with that now, she'd think of a plan to escape after she got rid of this one.  
  
 "Say goodnight… Bang" The solider collapsed, from shock. "Your dead, jolly man," She bent over to feel his pulse, "well, until you wake up with one hell of a headache. Love to see you explain that one to your commander."  
  
 Standing up she turned around, no sign of fear on her face. Her eyes widened "Its you… Heero… I knew I'd see you again…" She started but collapsed. Heero walked over to her, kneeling down. He brushed away some of the rain on her face taking her pulse. "She's out cold. So Hoshi-chan we both were right. You're a brave person." His eyes had converted to a sky blue, but his smirk lowered when he saw that she had been shot multiple times. Usually expressions on his face returned to him, eyes turning almost red/black with hate. Turning to the solider he scowled, "She might have let you live, but I won't." He pulled out his gun and pelted four bullets into his heart. The solider was laid to rest. "An eye for an eye, you shot her four times, I shot you four times justice has been done."  
  
   Turning back to Hoshi, he gently picked her up in his arms. He walked out of the ally, looking as if he was a knight saving his princess. The streetlights on them like a spotlight. The Feds will be looking for her now too, but I'll protect you. He looked down at her sweet face. She just went through so much pain, yet the same peaceful expression lay on her face. I'll take care of you, Hoshi, my Hoshi-Chan.  
  
*****************************  
  
    The warm sunlight woke the girl up. Opening her eyes, gazing at the ceiling above her. Where am I? I remember getting shot, and then… Heero came… or I think it was Heero. She sat up, but had to hold her head Girl take it easy, got up a little too fast… I think. Hoshi looked around the room. It wasn't exactly the nicest place she had been, but couldn't complain. There was a large window, and outside there was a small garden. Hearing voices from outside the room, she went to go listen. Only then did she notice that she had been patched up, nodding her head good job, not a doctor's work, but sufficient enough. Seeing her jacket in the corner of the room, putting it on, she slowly opened the door. Being in her socks, she didn't make a noise, as she traveled down the hall. Peaking into what must have been the living room, she saw four men her age.  
  
"… So Heero, what are you going to do with your little friend?" A Chinese man asked. Hoshi's eyes brightened Heero… so it was him, where is he? She looked around the room, but did not see him.  
  
 A blonde nodded his head, "Yes, we don't even know her, she may be dangerous" he wrung his hands. Hoshi raised an eyebrow, me dangerous, Naw.  
  
A laugh came from the corner of the room. She knew that laugh; it's that kid that was with Heero. "Quatre, if anyone is dangerous, it would be us. Come on… we are gundam pilots, and this is some girl. Now who do you think is more dangerous… I have a point, ne?"  
  
   "But, Duo, did she not get shot four times and is still alive. Not many people could survive with that ease. She could also put us in danger, if the Feds are after her…" retorted the blonde.  
  
 Another voice arose "For once I agree with Duo. The Feds are after us too are they not? She is an amazing person, I don't think we should judge her, until she has had her trial."  
  
 She smiled, hey well at least someone is on my side, but where is Heero…  
  
 "Heero, what do you think, I mean you brought her home, the little cutie, ya going to stick up for her? Are you going to at least find out who she is?" Duo asked, looking towards the dark hallway.  
  
 "Why don't you ask her yourself?" Said a voice from behind her. Hoshi jumped, but didn't want to turn around, busted. A hand rested on her shoulder, as she flinched slightly.  
  
 Heero lowered his voice "Come on I'll introduce you to everyone." She nodded, as if commanded still not looking at him. The two walked into the living room, and the four other pilots arose. Heero started his introduction "The Chinese man is Wufei Chang. The taller one is Trowa Barton. Quatre Raberba Winner is the blonde, worried one that you heard…"  
  
 "THE Quatre Winner, well this is a pleasure. Hey he's kawaii too." Interrupted Hoshi. Quatre's face brightened. Heero waited until she was done, and continued,  
  
"The braided fool is Duo," He then whispered to her, "watch out for him, he's full of tricks, and I am Heero Yuy."  
  
 She nodded, and smiled "Trust me I can handle him."  
  
They all stood staring at each other. Quatre knew someone need to break the ice, so he did, "Anata no o-namae wa?"  
  
 "Hoshi the name's Hoshi."  
  
 "Yes, Hoshi-San, can I get you anything to eat?"  
  
"Sure, whatever you've got would be fine."  
  
Quatre went into the kitchen and came back with, some coffee. Handing it to her he smiled.  
  
 "Arigato."  
  
 She leaned against a wall and drank the coffee. Then a though struck her, "Sora-Chan, the children, norou I forgot."  
  
 Heero looked at her strangely, "Children? What Children?"  
  
She set down her cup, and started for the door. "I have to go, I am really grateful, and I don't know how to thank you all…"  
  
   Heero couldn't think, "Stop! You can't leave."  
  
Hoshi just gazed at Heero, as if he couldn't understand what she had to do. She turned back to the door, and left. Heero just stared at the closed door, until Duo hit him on the back "You baka go after her."  
  
***************************  
  
 Running out the door, Heero scanned everywhere for her. She couldn't have gotten far she injured even I can't travel fast when injured. The fates must have been on his side today; with his computer like eyes he spotted her going into a rundown building. Not wanted her to spot him, he went to a boarded up window. His small, powerful hands ripped away one of the boards and he peaked in. He caught her in the opening foyer. Calling out she stood there. What is she doing? She must have hit her head or something. Before he could go in after her, giggles and voices were heard inside. No longer alone, about ten children surrounded Hoshi; each had a smile on their faces. They looked so happy, asking her where she had been and what she brought.  
  
   Hoshi just laughed, and said not to worry. Handing out food, she looked around.  
  
 "Where is Sora?" As she questioned the children, a small, blonde haired girl shuffled up to her. Facial expressions relaxing, Hoshi picked the child up, and talked to her in a soft voice, almost like a mother would. His cobalt blue eyes widened she couldn't have a daughter could she. The little girl giggled, and was set back down, running out of the room, her pigtails bouncing as she ran, with her new doll that she had received.  
  
   The eldest noticed something had happened to her "The Feds got to you didn't they, Hoshi-San? You need to be more careful, little Sora couldn't live without you. We couldn't live without you."  
  
 Nodding the girl replied "Yea, but don't worry I'll be careful. I think I have an angel on my side…" she looked off but then returned and laughed, "But Sora is strong, too much like me I suppose, but I gave you extra things, because I may not be back for a while. I may be out of business for a while, ya know. Don't worry though I've escaped from the Shi no Tenshi once before."  
  
 "Well, that angel of death may not be so lenient this time."  
  
"Chibi, chibi" Patting him on the shoulder, "you really need to loosen up some be a kid live your life, come on."  
  
 Having to leave the girl said her goodbyes, and exited the building. Closing the door behind her, she leaned on it in pain.  
  
 "What do you do that for?" Said a voice. She gasped turning quickly to her left she saw him, that brown haired boy, standing on the brick rail. She closed her eyes, and smirked, hiding her pain. "You don't give up easily do you? Anyway to answer your question, I use to be one of those people, not having anyone to care for me, or being able to care for myself. There was once an older guy who showed me here, and he would always bring us stuff. When I became old enough to care for myself, I took the place of him."  
  
 "Is that little girl… yours?"  
  
  Looking up and staring him, her eyes then widened, "Nai! I had found Sora- chan on a street corner, and she reminded me of myself. I took her here, and I believe that she, one day, will take the place of my position." Arising from the door, she started down the stairs as graceful as possible. Again she had moved too fast, and had to stop again. The Japanese went over, and wrapped her arm over his own shoulder. Though, not refusing his help, a puzzled look came to her, "Why do you want to help me?"  
  
 Not saying anything, just nodding his head to notion he was staring. "Where are you taking me? I don't want to impose with you and your friends."  
  
   Hoshi couldn't fight him though. Even if he wasn't much taller than her four foot eleven, he was very strong she sensed it. It was like a Goliath was in the body of a David. And what else could she do? Girl you have gotten yourself into something you shouldn't have, and you don't have anyone to blame for it. Well you did say you wanted to see Heero again, did you not? So why not enjoy it, ne.  
  
(Want to keep reading? Go to the next part) 


	3. part three: surviving romance

   Duo was bored, he wanted to go with Heero, but he knew better. But he wanted to know who she was, even if Heero did have something for her. Maybe she has some friends that are some cool chicks. They all knew that they would find out soon, Heero isn't one to give up those two would be back soon. Duo walked into the kitchen where Trowa was sitting at the table. Sitting down next to him he grinned "So what did you think of her? I told you she was cute, ne. Heero really likes her, I haven't seen him so worked up over a girl sense Relena."  
  
Trowa looked at him as if he was a fool, "It is not my business to think she is cute, or what that guy sees in her. All I want to know is why the Feds are after her, and if she can give us any info on them."  
  
 Sighing the American got up, and left, mumbling under his breath. Hearing someone at the door, he went to open it. There stood Heero and his mission. Duo put his hand on his head, "Mission complete, hum, Heero?" Opening the door the rest of the way, Heero gently pushed his way through. Hoshi just rolled her eyes, and grinned. "You bet mission complete. This guy'll neva give up. I couldn't help it, he found me. Ya know…" looking up at Heero, "You'd be really good at hide and go seek."  
  
 Heero couldn't help but chuckle, which surprised all but Hoshi in the room. Heero helped her back to the room she was in before. Sitting on the bed, she looked up at him.  
  
"Arigatou. You neva answered me before, why do you want to help me?"  The boy stepped over to a dresser, and picked up a medical kit. She sighed, I will find out Heero, just not right now, but I too don't give up that easy.  
  
 "We'll have to re-bandage those wounds of yours."  
  
 "What, oh yea… thanks." She removed her jacket, and bandage from her arm. She looked at the wound, "I think those two are pretty bad, may leave a scar, ah well…"  
  
Heero hadn't seen many wounds like these before. Usually the blood would at least start to stop; it looks as if the wounds were reopened… Wetting the bandage in a basin of water, and ointment he rewrapped her arm.  
  
 "Now your leg… dozo." Man girl you did get beaten up pretty bad. And, I'm going to have to patch these windpants too. Slowly, she rolled up her pant leg, and removed another bandage. "Well these weren't as bad, I think I did pretty good, I'll add it to my collection."  
  
 "Collection?" Heero finished wrapping her leg, and stood up. She looked up at him,  
  
"This isn't like the first time I've been shot, but luckily the soldiers that I go up against are new recruits, and can't shoot someone if they were right in front of them. As you can see, that guy was no where near to where he was planning to shot me."  
  
 Pulling up a chair, Heero sat in front of her. He searched her face, as if he could find out what she was hiding just by looking at her. Then, his eyes reached hers. Looking deep into the silvery eyes, his own turned a light blue, as if he became happy. Hoshi noticed that, and blushed slightly. His eyes narrowed, confused "What?"  
  
 "Nothing… are you going to tell me or what?"  
  
He grinned, and kissed her on the forehead, "No, maybe some other day."  
  
 He stood up, and left the room. Hoshi sat there, her face a bright red, yelled after him "You! I'll find out, you can count on that. I don't give up that easy." Flopping back onto the bed she looked up at the ceiling as if it could tell her why she can't leave him. There was a quite knock on the door "Hoshi-San… may I come in?" It was that Winner boy Quatre she could tell. What does he want? "Uh sure… what do you want?"  
  
 He walked in slowly, "I wanted to give you these." Handing her some towels, "the bathroom is to your left, if you want to take a bath or something, you're welcome to do so. Here are some clothes we put together for you it's not exactly much. Us being guys and all don't have much, but we tried."  
  
 "Aw that's sweet of you, thanks a lot, I could really go for a nice bath, arigato." Slipping back out the door, Quatre left as quite as he came in. Laughing to herself, Hoshi went into the bathroom.  
  
 She looked into the mirror. "Girl, it looked like you went through a war or something. No wonder they offered, I probably look like something the dogs brought in. Time to get clean."  She turned on the water faucets filling the tub, and lighting a few candles that had been in the bedroom. Stripping down she stepped into the warm water. Sighing she leaned back, closing her eyes. Pouring some bubbles into the bath she started to sing quietly.  
  
                                                    ***************  
  
Quatre entered the living room and sat down by Trowa. "I gave her, those things, she reminds me of Duo, isn't that ironic? But she seemed grateful enough I think she's in there right now. Heero, are you going to ask her what she has to do with the Feds… Heero"  
  
 Heero had been sitting at the kitchen table, staring off as if in another world looking in on this one. Snapping back into focus, he looked at the others. Shaking his head Duo raised one arm, and shrugged. "You confuse me Heero. Why don't you just admit that you love her, honto no? I can see it in your eyes, the same way you looked at Relena." Heero nearly feel out of his chair and stomped over to Duo, taking both his fist he shoved Duo into the wall. He lifted Duo about two inches off the ground. Then he stopped, He's right, I… I am in love… with her.  
  
 He heard a soft, sweet sound from down the hall. It sounded like an angel it was an angel, Hoshi. He dropped Duo, who fell on the floor taking a deep breath. Hitting himself on the head, "Otoko what is wrong with you!?" Heero's eyes went from his angered filled Prussian blue, to a loving sky blue. He turned around, and headed down the hall.  
  
Getting ready to go after him Duo stood up, but Wufei stuck out his arm stopping him. "Shinigami my friend, you just helped him out. I suggest if you want to keep it that way… you stay here. Heero finally listened to that heart somewhere inside himself."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yuy's in love."  
  
***********  
  
 The Japanese paused at the door closing his eyes, gently resting his head on it. The door had been unlocked. Why did it have to be unlocked it would have been easier, at least you would have an excuse. About to turn away, he heard her singing again. The voice comforted him, like wings of a dove wrapping around him. I am the perfect solider I can handle this mission. Mission accepted…  
  
Slowly turning the doorknob, he stepped in. The room was dark, for the exception for a few candles flickering. There she was, and she looked like an angel with the lights surrounding her.  
  
Having her eyes close, she didn't see him standing there.  
  
 "You have a beautiful voice, Hoshi-Chan." Eyes opening in a flash, she looked up.  
  
"Heero… my god" She blushed and slid underneath the bubbles, so only her eyes were above the water. He smiled, looking into those silver eyes, "I wanted to tell you something."  
  
 She raised her head above the water, "Yes?" He knelt down beside her, he smiled as he wiped away some of the bubbles left on her chin. His eyes a lustful and passionate blue, "I… love you."  
  
"You what?"  
  
"I Love you." His eyes searched deep into hers, "that is why I helped you, I love you."  
  
"Well I want to tell you something also." Leaning over to him she whispered into his ear "I love you too. I was just fooling myself to think I didn't. But you can't lie to love can you Heero?"  
  
  He smiled, "No, you can't."  
  
"I want to be with you, Heero but…" He put his finger gentle to her lips,  
  
"And you will" He sat on the edge of the tub, looking at her. She grinned, and pulled him in. A look of shock was on his face. Splashing her and she squeaked, he threw off the rest of his sopping wet clothes.  
  
He wrapped his arms around her, relaxing completely. "Mission complete."  
  
"What?"  
  
 Not saying anything, Heero looked into her eyes that turned into a lovely silver, as if they were that gray cloud with a sliver lining. He kissed her, a deep passionate kiss. She let out a breathless sigh, as his tongue invaded her mouth, sweet and passionate.  
  
They were both in true love and peace, that night. Both slept soundly, together.  
  
****************  
  
   Heero woke up from the sound of Hoshi. Looking over at her he smiled. To him she looked so beautiful, even in her sleep. She cuddled up closely to him, unknowingly. Her warm breath comforted Heero's naked skin. The smell of her hair fumed his nostrils. He wrapped his arms gently around her.  
  
Opening her eyes, she saw Heero next to her. She smiled sweetly at him, and kissed him. Smiling, he kissed her back. Slipping out of the bed he pulled on a pair of pants. "Where are you going, Heero-Kun?" Kissing her again on the forehead, "To get some breakfast, will you join me Hoshi-Chan?"  
  
 "Of course, let me get dressed, I'll be right out." Nodding he left the room. She sighed and smiled. Pulling on a gray shirt, and a pair of black pants. Looking down at herself she laughed, "Well they are a little bit big… but hey that's ok." She walked into the bathroom, and grabbed a brush. Combing out her hair, she started to braid the long, chestnut color hair. "Hoshi you are one lucky girl to find him," She said out loud to the mirror, but sighed, "But you can't stay here forever can you?"  
  
***********  
  
   Quatre was in the kitchen making breakfast for everyone. Heero entered the kitchen and took out two cups from the cabinet. "Ohayo! Well you seem to be in a good mood," Duo said, patting him on the shoulder. Brushing him off Heero poured two cups of coffee. Finishing her braid as walking down the hall, Hoshi stopped as Trowa walked past her. "Ohayo, Trowa." Nodding his head, he walked away, shrugging she continued. "He's not a very talkative person is he?" She asked as she tied off her braid and sat down. Heero gently pulled her braid and sat down next to her, "No…"  
  
"He only talks to a few people. Likes to keep to himself" Finished off Quatre, "breakfast is ready." He handed out plates, and the others joined them at the table.  
  
 "Hey. That's where my other black pants went!' Duo yelled.  
  
Hoshi looked up startled, "Hey I didn't pick them out or anything you know, sorry."  
  
 "No that's ok, I just didn't want to wear something bright tomorrow, that'll mean someone will have to do laundry… who's turn is it."  
  
 "Yours"  
  
"Aw, man. Well if anything shrinks its not my fault ya know."  
  
Hoshi laughed, and even Heero chuckled. Duo scratched his head, and stared at Heero "Are you ok, I haven't seen you like this before, and frankly its scaring me."  
  
 The Japanese glared at the American who smirked, "Never mind. Are you going to ask her?"  
  
 Puzzlement fell upon the girls face, "Ask me what, Heero?"  
  
 The old distend expression reached him face, and his eyes reached the normal Prussian color. A solemn face reached everyone, and Hoshi stood up. Taking his hand she lead him out of the room, "Don't have too much fun!" Yelled Duo, from behind. Turning around Hoshi stuck out her tongue.  
  
*****************  
  
   They went outside as she led him to the garden. Sitting down on a stone bench the girl looked around. They were surrounded by beauty. The smell of roses and exotic other flowers filled the air. Looking up at the man, she searched his face, but he had changed. He seemed more like a lost, and lonely boy. She didn't like that side of him, "What's wrong Heero-Kun? I'm worried about you. What do you want to ask me?"  
  
 He looked at her softly, which seemed to melt her soul. The seconds passed by like minutes, minutes passed like hours. Her eyes filled with tears of remorse, "Why won't you tell me, I love you, and you said you love me, so why won't you tell me?"  
  
 "Because I do love you, and I don't want to learn something about you that may ruin our relationship. I've never felt like this before and I don't want to lose that."  
  
 Smiling softly at him, "But you wouldn't. There couldn't be anything to separate us…"  
  
 "Why were the Feds after you?"  
  
 "What… what do you mean?"  
  
 Looking at her as soft as he could, "That night that I helped you, why were the Feds after you?"  
  
 "Oh that… I was waiting for that question. A few years ago, before that one war stopped, ya know five years ago?"  
  
 "Hai, a little too well."  
  
 "Yoku, the old Federation had attacked the colony. They destroyed almost everything. The man that I had told you about before was trying to protect me…" She lowered her head and closed her eyes. "And it was a cold blood murder, he was shot in the back. Along with many of the other people I was staying with, they died too. Ever sense that day I swore I would protect this colony. So, when I heard that the Feds were here again I tried to rebel against them about a month or so ago. They found out and were after me, to keep quote peace. I had attacked and killed some of their men, but the rest of the plan had backfired. One of my friends that had survived five years ago had come with me and… got killed. And then that night came up about week later and that's when I found you…" her voice trailed out, and tears rolled down her face. Heero had knelt down, calmly placing his hands on her shoulder. She flinched slightly lowering her head more. She's quivering. She acts so brave, even when she is scared. All those secrets… "Hoshi-chan. I am truly sorry, but it is not your fault. Think about all the people you helped, Sora and everyone else that you take care of…"  
  
 "But I got my friend killed." She sobbed, "How could you love someone who got their own friend killed."  
  
 "Because I do love you, and it has happened to me too. I have killed many through out my life. But if it will help ten times as many people that I kill, it is worth it. "  
  
   He kissed away the tears on her face. Opening her tear red eyes she looked at him, and sniffled. He smiled softly at her. Looking at her tear streaked face; "You are still beautiful even when you are sad. But I like it more when you are smiling and happy."  
  
She tried to smile, and Heero crossed his eyes, making her smile. "There's my beautiful Hoshi. But I will be here for you, you just have to tell me all right?"  
  
 Nodding her head, "All right. Thank you, so what do we tell the others?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well they want to know right, what do we tell them?"  
  
"Hai, but I don't know what we will tell them. I don't want you to cry again."  
  
 Heero sat down beside her, wrapping his arm around her waist. She rested her head on his shoulder. "What are we going to do Heero? I don't know if I can stay here forever, neither can you…"  
  
 "We will find out when that day comes, until it does I want to be with you always."  
  
 "Aww… so do I… so do I."  
  
***********  
  
   Duo didn't like to spy, it was sneaky, lowdown, and wrong. Well maybe he did like to spy, he couldn't help it; it was the way he was. He was looking from the glass door that led out to the garden. "There they are. Ahh, Heero's got his arm around her waist…"  
  
 Quatre tried to pull Duo away from the window, "Duo it's not right to spy on someone."  
  
 The American continued to watch, "Oh, oh I think they are going to kiss!"  
  
"What," Quatre stopped.  
  
"You two are low," Said the Chinese from behind.  
  
Quatre walked away, "I was just trying to stop him, what is so wrong about that. Hey anyone seen Trowa?"  
  
 "I think he's in his room," Turning Duo pointed his thumb down the hall, His eyes widened  
  
"Where did they go?"  
  
 "We're right here," Said a husky voice. Duo yelled, and threw himself behind the couch near by.  
  
"Don't hurt me, don't hurt me!"  
  
 Heero didn't do anything, Hoshi just smiled "Not today Shinigami, you safe from Heero-Kun for now."  
  
 Peeping over the couch Duo grinned foolishly, "Arigato Hoshi-Chan, you are an angel."  
  
She blushed as the two sat down across from the others. Trowa reentered the room, being dragged by Quatre. Hoshi's smile faded, noticing it, Heero whispered into her ear, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing…"  
  
"Fine, I'll ask you again later, or I'll have to be mean to you."  
  
"Aw, you wouldn't do that would you."  
  
 Heero about to reply was interrupted by a polite eh hem. Trowa nodded his head, giving Heero, So what gives? Looks.  
  
 "Right"  
  
Hoshi explained what she could, leaving out some minor details. The gundam pilots were pretty much relieved that the Feds had nothing at the time. But they were getting restless, well all but Heero. Duo, being hyper and energetic, insisted that they all go out. After an extensive time of begging, Duo finally got his way. Each changed into a different outfit, Hoshi just put on a white tank top, not having anything else. "Heero, Does this look ok?"  
  
Grinning at her, "Of course, why wouldn't it?"  
  
 "You two are making me sick. Come on, we can check out some colony chicks. Well at least us lonely single guys."  
  
Each shoved Duo and walked out the door leaving him in an empty room, "hey, ya can't leave without the loveable, hot guy, come back."  
  
 Duo bounded out the door, chasing after the others.  
  
******************  
  
   The group stopped at the bottom of the stairs. After hearing Duo call after them, they turned around. He stopped at the top of the stairs and looked down at the bottom.  
  
"Oi thanks a lot for waiting." Starting down the stairs, Duo tripped and landed on his face.  
  
The group laughed, as Duo brushed himself off, "I meant to do that."  
  
 "Mochiron."  
  
 "Yea, just testing the law of gravity to see if it worked still."  
  
  The six walked to the downtown area of the colony. There was a party going on people were everywhere, singing and dancing. The lights flashed, and spotlights were on top of all of the buildings. Strobe lights where streetlights were suppose to be. Red, green, blue, and white lights flashing everywhere.  
  
 "This is so cool, hey Duo even you may be able to find a girl in this party." Laughed Hoshi.  
  
He threw confetti on her; she put up her hands and screamed, "Hey, I was just helping you out." She laughed again. Duo hugged her, turned around, yelling as he ran off, "Shinigami is off to find new victims." Running to a crowd of girls. In less than five minutes Duo brought back a girl for the other guys. And each walked off to a different part of the party.  
  
   Eyeing Heero she smiled "So ya wanna talk or ya wanna dance?"  
  
Taking her in his arms, "I go with dancing, defiantly."  
  
"Yoi kotae."  
  
Grinning she broke free, and took his hand leading him into the crowd. They danced, all night. Running into the others, which were having about as much fun as they had in a long time.  
  
   Later, after the two lovers had gotten Hoshi some things, they entered a quite bar. Following a quick drink, they stepped out onto the dance floor. Spotlights were moving across the floor. Letting her braid down, Hoshi swung her hair around, "Much better, don't you think?"  
  
"Yea." A slower song started, the lights dimmed. Heero softly pulled her close. Wrapping his arms around her, she rested her head on his chest. The danced a slow, waltz like dance. Spinning her out, and a grin reached both their lips. As the song ended, they rest their foreheads, on each other. "You want to go home?" He questioned her. Nodding her head, staring into his eyes. A small applause surrounded them. Hoshi broke away, and took a bow, "Come on Heero, take a bow." Heero didn't look convinced, and smirked. "Aw, find be that way. But we were still good dancers, come on indulge me?"  
  
   The grin on his face widened, and he went over to her, as she turned away from him, Heero came up from behind, taking her in his powerful arms, he looked down at her. "Hai, Let's go home." His eyes grew the same loving color she loves to see, as she looked up at him. "Hai, Heero, let's go home."  
  
**********  
  
   Unlocking the door, they strolled in. Turing on the lights, Hoshi crashed onto the couch, "No one's home yet?"  
  
Closing the door behind him. Heero glanced around. "They must be having a lot of fun. Duo I could understand, but the others. Maybe they were party people before I meet them and lied about it the rest of the time."  
  
   Laughing she closed her eyes. As soon as she had closed them, she was lifted off the couch, as if she were a package. She screamed opening her eyes a large grin was on the man's face.  
  
"Put me down, put me down! I'll have to hurt you…" looking at his muscles "somehow." He went down the hall and opened the bedroom door. "You want to be put down Hoshi-Chan." He said with an innocence look upon his face.  She nodded her head, trying to look serious, "Yea, Heero-Kawaii, I do."  
  
 Standing over the bed he dropped her onto it, and he flopped beside her. "Are you happy now?"  
  
She stuck out her tongue. "Not like that." And he grinned evilly. What is he going to do?  He sucked on her tongue, when she stuck it out. Her eye's widened, "Is this how I'm suppose to do it," He stood picking her up again, and kissed her, as he set her down softly, smiling "Hai… Heero-Kun?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I love you…"  
  
"And I love you too…"  
  
"But I can't stay with you forever, you know that."  
  
"I know"  
  
   Opening her mouth to reply, Heero invaded her with a kiss to silence her. Closing her eyes, she returned, wanting him to be happy for now. He ran his hands through her long hair. Smiling at her, "I love your hair." She blushed, "Really?" Kissing her again "Hai."  
  
   His arms embraced her. Lying back on the bed, not letting her go Heero sighed. I know she can't stay forever. I'm a fool to think so, but yet… there is a possibility the she could stay.  Heero whispered into her ear, and then kissed her from her ear to her mouth, as she closed her eye. She is an angel, sent here to help me. I can't lose her. "Heero" She whispered, "I love you."  
  
He held her all night he didn't want to leave her all alone, until she fell asleep. Hearing the door creak open, he slipped out of the room.  
  
 "Hey Heero, where ya been?" asked Duo.  
  
"We came home around three. But she's sleeping so keep it down."  
  
 "Well you should have stayed, Quatre got lost with this girl, and we found them later but Quatre was quite the ladies man. He got her to laugh and everything."  
  
 Not seeming interested, Heero started away. "Heero can I talk to you?" Heero turned around. What would Trowa want? But he was in a good mood, "Sure."  
  
 Waiting till the others went to their rooms, Trowa continued, "Did you ever ask Hoshi what the problem was?"  
  
 "No." Knowing that Trowa could read lips, he didn't ask how he knew.  
  
"Well then, I can tell you this. I know what is wrong, or at least I think. She loves you, she truly does. And she doesn't want to lose you, but she knows that you will have to leave. We are gundam pilots, and until this other war is over we could leave at any time. She sees this happiness around her that she hasn't seen before, and she doesn't want to lose you. But don't judge me on it, that's just what I think, and I don't want either of you to be in pain. Though this I do know, there is something else wrong with her. I don't know what it is, but there is something."  
  
 "Thank you Trowa." Was all he said, it was all he could say, and went back to his room.  
  
He slid back into bed, awaking Hoshi. She moaned, "What wrong?"  
  
Kissing her softly, "Nothing, the guys just got back, but I'll tell you more later. You need to sleep, you're tired."  
  
  Kissing him back, she shut her eyes. "All right, I love you. Good night Heero-Chan."  
  
Resting her head on his chest, he combed through her chestnut hair till she fell asleep. Her body warmed his, pale skin. Whispering, "I love you, and I won't lose you. I'll find out what's wrong. I know Trowa's right, but I'll find a way…"  
  
Closing his eyes, he too fell asleep.  
  
  
  
(Ha, you made it this far? …) 


	4. part four: cuts and healing

   Opening his eyes to the beauty next to him, Heero let out a sigh of relief. She's still here, but that means I am going to have to talk to her about… He could just stare at her, to him she looked so cute, and he couldn't think about her not being there. Not to wake up and see her there, to feel that sweet breath upon him.  
  
 About to wake her, he stopped. Might as well let her look really cute for a while longer. The others weren't up yet, he noticed as he entered the living room. Heero was in a very pleasant mood; it was starting to scare him. Deciding to make breakfast for too, he headed into the kitchen. Looking around he grabbed what he could. The only thing Heero could successfully make at breakfast was coffee, and pancakes. Setting two plates, and cups on a tray. He flipped a few pancakes and poured the coffee, into the cups. Leaving the rest out for the other, he returned to the room.  
  
**************  
  
   The plates crashed to the ground, Heero was shocked. Looking at the bed sat Hoshi. She was curled up in a ball, crying. He rushed over to her. Looking at her lower arms where the bandages were, blood seeped threw them. It's not possible; those wounds shouldn't still be bleeding. He tried to cradle her in his arms, but she seemed to hold back. He knew that he had to get to her slowly, not a fast moving comfort. "Hoshi, what is wrong?"  
  
Not saying anything she lowered her head in shame. He took her arm, and unwrapped the bandages. The wounds had been reopened, taking her by the wrist he gazed angrily at her, "Did you do this to yourself? Why, why do this?" Waiting for a response, he continued, "I know how you feel, I use to do it myself. The reasons changed over the years, mostly emptiness, though I stopped for a while, I started up again." Showing the scars on his arms, she lowered her head even more. "But when I met you, I felt that emptiness melt away. I want to know, I need to know what is wrong Hoshi-Chan."  
  
 He had to be patient holding in his anger. He sat beside her, still holding her wrists. After a time of silence, Hoshi started in a low, trembling voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put anyone else in pain, I guess I just screwed up again…" Slight anger reached his face, but she flinched feeling he anger. Eyes softening, "What do you mean you screwed up, you've done many perfect things sense I've known you."  
  
 "I went to protect my home, and I couldn't even do that right, I get my friend killed. I try to keep someone from pain I can't do that. I just feel so empty, and when I see how you and all your friends are so happy, it hurts. I am scared Heero, scared of my own shadow. I'm just to weak to go on, I figure that if I cut myself, and give myself pain then someday I'll be strong. And if I die, then I'll just die…"  
  
 "Don't say that! You did not kill your friend it was a mistake. We all have that emptiness inside ourselves; some feel it more than others. I will help you get threw this, but you are one of the bravest people I've ever meet. You are not weak…"  
  
"Yea, I am." Getting off the bed and kneeling in front of her, he took her arms gently. "No, your not. You have to stop this you just have to. For me…" He set his hand on her cheek, as she closed her eyes. Moving his hand down her face, and curled around her chin. Slowing forcing her to look up at him. Her eyes lowered slightly, "I don't deserve you, Heero." He searched her eyes, "We cannot judge anyone or ourselves. The Fates can only do that, so how can you say what you deserve or don't deserve. It doesn't make sense in the laws of love, but it is true." He kissed her, and to Hoshi, it washed away many of her fears. Though new ones set in, she ignored them for now. He does love me. Maybe I do have a chance… to fix things. Breaking the kiss Heero got up and sat behind the girl. Putting his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder. "You have to stop this though. Promise me, please. Its not good for you, if we need to get you help them we'll do it…"  
  
 "I don't need help. I can do this, with you. But… I promise, no more cuts. But promise me… that you won't either. Even if we are apart I promise, will you promise too?"  
  
 "Arigatou. Ai shiteiru my little Hoshi. And I do promise, forever."  
  
 "Ai shiteiru, Heero."  
  
I guess I could stop. If he loves me this much, I don't want anyone else in pain. I'll be strong for you Heero. I'll be like you and make it like you have. We'll make it together.  
  
*************  
  
   The American had woken up from the sounds of breaking glass. Falling out of the bed, he pulled on his pants, rolling out of the room. Running into the living room, to see who it was. But there wasn't anyone there. "Um, all right. What the hell's going on?" He went into the kitchen, seeing the pancakes; he grabbed one and went around the house. Hearing a noise from Heero's room, he went to listen.  
  
 Hearing muffled voices, Duo listened in. Hearing everything, he was astounded by what he heard. Both of what Heero and Hoshi were saying. He had known about Heero cutting himself, but didn't think that, the smiling, always happy girl could do something like that. He also didn't think Heero could ever be so nice to someone. Oops, might want to get away from here before I get caught. Just got a date with a girl, and don't want to have a black eye. Just act normal, well as normal as you can get. Sneaking back down the hall, Duo turned on the TV and flipped it to some cartoon. The others too had awoken by then and entered the room. Yawning Wufei sat down, after grabbing some breakfast. "Hey Duo, how come you never told us that you could make breakfast? But next time you do, don't be so clumsy breaking plates, hum."  
  
 Duo smirked, "Me make breakfast, nope sorry not me. Heero made it, I guess. So, tell that to him when those to come out. Whenever they do."  
  
 "What's that suppose to mean?" Retorted a voice from the doorway. Sure enough there stood the Japanese man himself. Duo just sat there, he didn't know what to say, for once. "Um, Heero…"  
  
"What do you want?!"  
  
"Is Hoshi, ok?"  
  
Slightly lowering his look, Heero sat down, "Yea, why wouldn't she be, and why would you ask?"  
  
"Because I heard what happened. About her… hurting herself." Heero's head flashed up looking at the American. He couldn't say anything. How could he know, and if Hoshi finds out, what will she do? She doesn't want anyone else to know about it. OK, ok stay cool. "What's going on?" A girl's voice came from the shadows. That's why they call her the Shadow Spinner, Duo though. She looked at Duo, and then at Heero. Tears filled her eyes, "He knows doesn't he. Why did you tell him?"  
  
"I didn't…"  
  
"Well then how the hell does he know what I've done, hum Heero?"  
  
Duo stood up and when over to her, taking her wrist he looked at her. Blushing with an alarmed look upon her face "Duo what do you think your doing?" Unwrapping the bandages, he glimpsed at the cuts. He gazed sadly at Heero and back to Hoshi. "These are pretty bad, girl. Why didn't tell anyone before. Heero loves ya you know. He could help you, we all could. We've all been through this before, at one point or another. I don't know why you do it, and I know you won't again. But we are here for you, remember that." Her expression softened. Giving him a big hug, Duo grinned, "Thanks Duo, all of you. And don't worry I know that Heero does love me." Stepping back Duo smiled, "Hey Heero, better watch her closely, don't want me to steal her now do ya?"  
  
   Knowing both meaning to what he said, the man knew he didn't want either. For Duo the guy who could get a date in five minutes flat to take her heart. The other point that the he meant was Shinigami could take her life. Heero loved, her. He knew he could live without her; he just didn't want to be alone. People can live without each other. I have learned that. But they just don't want to the feeling is too wonderful. When you find that right person everything seems so much better. Life isn't so cold, and the pain isn't that noticeable.  
  
   The girl sitting next to him snapped him back into reality. "Did you here me, Heero-Chan?" Taking his hand, "I said that we should go see Sora and the others. I haven't been there in a while and they'll be running out of food, and stuff soon. Would you like to come with me?"  
  
Nodding his head, he grabbed both of their shoes, and handed hers to her. She laughed slightly. Eyeing her, "What?"  
  
"Nothing, just you."  
  
"What about me?"  
  
Kissing him, "Like I say, nothing just you."  
  
 Putting a pouting look on his face, the man stood up. Taking her hands, helping her up the two headed for the door. Looking over Heero's shoulder the girl smiled, "We'll be back soon, don't miss us or anything."  
  
 They shut the door behind them, but Trowa stared at it as if they were still there, "We all will miss you, when you're gone forever…"  
  
Quatre turned to where the man sat, "What did you say?"  
  
"Nani mo nai koto."  
  
*************  
  
   After shopping in the market place, using money from Quatre who insisted to take it since it was wrong to steal, the two entered the 'home'. As soon as they had entered the children surrounded them. "Who is that scary man?" Ask one of the children. Laughing, "He's not that scary when you get to know him. Everyone this is Heero Yuy, him and his friend have been helping me out over the past few days. He also helped me get all these things."  
  
   Each child thanked him. Though they tried to hug him, they ended up only being able to reach to above his knee. His face angered in embarrassment as Hoshi laughed, "What seems to be so funny?"  
  
 "You just look so cute, that's all." Heero's face brighten making her smile grow, "I even got you to blush. Don't worry I won't tell the guys."  
  
 "Mommy! Mommy!" A child's shrilled cries came from upstairs. Alarmed Hoshi run upstairs, Heero not far behind.  
  
 There in an old office lay a little girl, on an old mattress. The look of fear and pain showed on her sleeping face. She sat beside the little girl, "Sora, Sora, honey wake up." The frighten girl woke up, and looked at Hoshi. Starting to cry she curled up into her arms. Hushing her, "What's wrong Sora-Chan, nightmares again?" The little girl nodded, as she was handed a tissue. "My mommy was there, and I called to her. But she didn't listen to me and disappeared. She didn't want me, why didn't she want me, was I bad?"  
  
   Heero sat down by Hoshi, as the child gasped, "Who are you Mister?"  
  
"Just a friend. Its not that your mom didn't want you, she just didn't know what to do." He looked at Hoshi, to see what had happened. As he read her silent lips, he continued. "Its not that you did anything bad, because you didn't. Your mom was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The only ones who were bad were the one who took her away. I cannot undo what they did, but you can change how you live. Making sure there is peace in the colony…" His voice trailed on until his eyes reached the girl again. Stopping at where he was, he smiled slightly as the confused look on her face grew.  "I'll just tell you this, you didn't do anything bad. Your mom loved you, and now Hoshi and everyone here does. So chin up kid."  
  
  The little girl sniffled and raised her chin into the air, making the two laugh. After giving Hoshi a hug, Sora lay back down. Heero stood up and waited in the doorway until Hoshi made sure she was asleep.  
  
  After shutting the door behind her, she kissed Heero. "Thank you."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"What you did in there. She may not understand you now, but she will one day. Thank you for helping out, what made you do that?"  
  
 "I was in her shoes before too. Though, I was taken in by Dr. J. and not by a kind home like this. Sure Dr. J. took care of me, but look what I turned out to me, a bloodthirsty monster. And I'm an idiot to think otherwise."  
  
 "Oh Heero. I'm not sure what were you were like or what you did. All I see is a wonderful man, who might have killed many people, but has also saved many people. Look what you've done to me; you have helped me so much. And Heero, we all are idiots. That is a downside of being human. Just some idiots aren't as stupid as the others, making them smarter. Which then we get into classifying ourselves. But we shouldn't because we all are idiots in our own ways. I love you Heero, and I don't care if you are an idiot or not, because I am too."  
  
 "But Hoshi…"  
  
 "Oh just shut up and kiss me." She smiled softly, as he pouted. "Aw, did I hurt your feeling Heero-Kun. Well then I'll kiss you." As she leaned over to kiss him, he pulled her closer. Giggles from the stairs broke the kiss. The two lovers turned to see some of the children standing there. When the children noticed they had been caught they, ran back down the stairs. She laughed as she took Heero's hand and guided him back downstairs.  
  
*****************  
  
Saying their goodbyes, they left the building. Heero put his arm over Hoshi's shoulder, as he looked down at her, "Might as well get back. Duo might come looking for us, not wanting to miss out on some fun he thinks we're having."  
  
 "You're not having fun?"  
  
 "Did I say that?"  
  
 "Maybe. Does that mean I'm going to have to show you around my colony now?"  
  
He didn't look very convinced, "Come on Heero, at least we can go sit in the park for a while. It's a beautiful day, might as well enjoy it."  
  
  She started to pull on his arm, until she dragged him to the park across the street. As he finally gave in, Hoshi fell onto the grass. Letting out a small laugh, he stuck out a hand to help Hoshi up. "I am so sorry, are you hurt?" Letting a small grin come to his face.  
  
 "Sorta, my pride is hurt more than anything. I just hit my arms again." A more caring expression of worry covered his grin. "I… I didn't mean to. Now I'm really sorry, are your arms ok, they're not bleeding are they."  
  
  "No…" A second of uneasiness reached her eyes, but a smirk quickly hid it. Taking his hand while off guard, she pulled him to the grass. Though he resisted he quickly fell next to her. "Kon'nichi wa, Heero. Glad you could join me." She laughed, "Heero, you really need to loosen up soon. Though you look so adorable right now. I told you this park is beautiful isn't it."  
  
  Looking around, Heero noticed a small waterfall surrounded by trees. It was beautiful, but he was in a playful mood. "Not really…" She smacked him softly on the shoulder, "Well why not." But I might as well say something sweet, don't want her to be mad. And it is beautiful… "Because I looked at you, and it's much more beautiful then this part." Bingo, I think I said the right thing. Her face grew a bright red, and to hide it she covered her face with her hands. But she felt two hands on her wrists that gently pulled back her hands from her face. "There we go, I though I might have lost my little Hoshi," Come on Heero, not that was pretty corny. I highly think she'll like that. But he was wrong, as she leaned up and kissed him. "Your sweet Heero, don't lose that side of you. Thank you."  
  
 "For what?"  
  
"For… for everything. I've always felt out of place, and lost, until I met you. I was on a suicide mission that night, and if it weren't for you, then I wouldn't be here today. This colony is my home I have to protect it; you've shown me that. And whenever I'm around you, my heart doesn't seem so heavy. I don't feel so lost, if I fell anything is found I guess could be the word to use you know. So I just wanted to say thank you."  
  
 Kissing her softly, he helped her up. "You're welcome. And thank you, too. For the same reasons, I guess we're both lost and found, ne?"  
  
 "Hai."  
  
  (go to the last part) 


	5. part five: lost and found

   It was around six o'clock when they returned. Duo bounded at them, with a million and one questions, and wanting them all answered. But the look on Heero's face silenced the American after the fifth question. At that time dinner was delivered. Since it was Duo night to cook, he had ordered in pizza as always. Setting out a drink and plate for everyone, the group gathered around the table. Each shared memories, not always happy ones, around the table.  
  
   Later, a knock cam upon the door "Who could that be?" Asked Wufei.  
  
"Be right back." Duo raced to the door, opening it. A female voice came from outside. A moment later Duo approached the table with a black haired lady. "Everyone, I would like you to meet Margo. I meet her last night at the party, and we decided to go out again. So we'll be back later."  
  
 Wufei nodded his head, "Congrats Maxwell. I though you were just lying when you said you got a date." The rest of the table laughed, as the braided man blushed bright red and turned away. "Come on Margo. Lets leave these lonely people alone to enjoy their jokes." Turing back to them he stuck out his tongue and left. "Good luck Duo. You too Margo, don't like him talk you to death." Heero yelled after them.  
  
*********************  
  
   That night, Hoshi awoke from a nightmare. She was in a cold sweat, as she looked over at Heero praying that he was still there. She let out a small sigh as she saw him there. Smiling, He is so cute when he sleeps. It's like a little boy in a childhood dream. She brushed back his dark brown hair, as she laid her head back onto his chest. His heartbeat caressed her soul. But not soon after a knock came to the front door. Heero moaned in his sleep, but Hoshi kissed him, relaxing him and putting him back to sleep. Getting dressed, she went to see what was going on.  
  
   She had run into Trowa, who went to get the door. Having a strange feeling she stayed back, in the shadows of the hall. Hearing the muffled voices, about five minutes later Trowa returned. "Who was is?" Looking at her with sad eyes, "No one, go back to sleep." He brushed by her, but she grabbed his arm, holding him back. "Please, Trowa, I have to know. Who was it?" Letting out a sight, "It was the Fed. They were looking for a girl, with your description. I told them I hadn't seen anyone that looked as such."  
  
  Her knees felt weak, and she had to lean against the wall to support herself. After, she had told Trowa that she was fine he finally left, hesitantly. Sliding down the wall, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. What am I going to do? I don't want to hurt Heero, I won't let them hurt Heero, or anyone else…  
  
  Getting up she grabbed a pen, and piece of paper. She took a half an hour to write what she needed to. Hoping that Heero was exhausted she snuck back into the room. Packing her things into her bag, she left the note on the nightstand next to Heero. Leaning over him, tears filled her eyes. She kissed him deeply as a tear streaked down her face landing on his own. "I love you Heero, I'll always love you." She stepped back, and grabbing her bag. Taking one last look at her lover, and closed the door behind her.  
  
   I'm not making the wrong choice, am I? I have to be, if everyone is going to be ok, then I have to be making the right choice.  Walking outside of the house, Hoshi started to the shuttle ports. As she was heading down the street, Duo turned the corner. Hoshi brushed passed them keeping her head low. Duo looked back at the girl who passed him, Man that looked a lot like Hoshi. My eyes must be playing games on me. Shinigami, you must be getting too old. Yea right!  He laughed to himself, as he walked up the stairs to the house.  
  
*************  
  
   Heero turned over, and went to wrap his arm around Hoshi. But he didn't find anything. Moving his hand around, he opened his eyes. She wasn't there, his eyes widened, "Hoshi? Hoshi, where are you?" Getting out of bed, he looked into the bathroom. Not there. Leaving the room, he searched the house. Damnit! Where is she? Seeing the light from Trowa's room, he knocked on the door. "Come in." Heero opened the door, "Have you seen Hoshi?"  
  
  Trowa got up from the computer and went over to Heero, "She didn't go back to bed?"  
  
"No, what are you talking about?"  
  
"Someone had come to the door before. I went to answer it and ran into Hoshi. It ended up being the Feds looking for her…"  
  
 Heero's eyes became red/black with anger. "You gave her to them. How the hell could you do that?!"  
  
 "Heero calm down. I told them I hadn't seen her. When I went back and told her she seemed pretty shook up. But she insisted that she was all right. So, I went back to bed, I figured that she went back to bed too."  
  
 The front door slammed shut, "Hoshi." Heero ran to the front door, but he was disappointed only to see Duo. "Oh, its just you."  
  
"Yea, its just me, what's up why aren't you with Hoshi? Lately you two couldn't be separated if a bomb was to be set off."  
  
 "Baka, the reason I'm not with her because she's not here." Duo scratched his head, "Well then maybe that was Hoshi I saw before."  
  
 Heero grabbed Duo by the shirt, "Where did you see her? Where did she go?!"  
  
"She was heading towards the space ports I think. But Heero…"  
  
"What!?"  
  
"Before you go, you may want to put some pants on over those boxers of yours."  
  
******************  
  
  Running into the room, Heero slipped on the floor sliding and hitting his head on his nightstand. "Damn that hurt." A piece of paper landed on his head. Sitting back against the bed he looked at it. "To Heero", he read. Opening it up, "Its from Hoshi!"  
  
   
  
Dearest Heero~  
  
As you can tell I'm not here any more. I am truly sorry.  
  
I didn't leave because of you so don't blame yourself.  
  
When I found out that the Feds were after me, I freaked.  
  
I don't want to get you or anyone else hurt, or to be in pain.  
  
Don't give up all hope, I will find you again. Remember you can't  
  
Rid of me that easy. I was lost and found and for now I will be  
  
Lost again. I promise this to you, I will always be there, as long  
  
As you remember me. I will find you, and please don't come after me.  
  
It will hurt me too much, because it will be me to find you this time,  
  
To repay for you finding me. Life is nothing but a game of hide-and-seek.  
  
Before it was my turn to hide and you to seek. Well you found me, so  
  
Now it's my turn to find you.  
  
I love you with all my heart. You saved my life, and you will be my only love.  
  
Promise me this, you won't forget me when I'm gone, and you won't kill  
  
yourself. Also while you are here, please look out for Sora and the others  
  
for me, thank you so much. Please, I promise you the same. I have to leave  
  
now, but I will find somewhere to go may be on earth; I've never been there  
  
in the whole near nineteen years of my life. So, maybe in a few years, after  
  
this dreaded war is over I'll find you again. Don't change how you've been,  
  
since I've known you. You'll make   more friends that way, but I won't tell you  
  
to do anything you don't want to. I could write so much more, but the time  
  
we shared together cannot be written. So, as I gave you that last kiss that  
  
you could feel that.  
  
   Love always and forever, heart and soul  
  
    Hoshi the Shadow Spinner  
  
   
  
   Tears fell down his face, and onto the paper. "I understand, my Hoshi- Chan. I won't forget you. I won't kill myself, I promise that. But you never asked for me to promise not to hurt myself." Grabbing a Swiss army knife from the dresser, he popped out the blade. Staring at it for a while, he held it in his arms, bring it to his arms he started to slice his arm. Stopping her voice echoed in his mind. "I love you Heero. But… I promise, no more cuts. But promise me… that you won't either. Even if we are apart I promise, will you promise too?"  
  
 Stopping the knife, he put up the blade. "I promise Hoshi. We will be together again. I trust you, so I will remember you…"  
  
 "Heero, Heero can I come in." It was Wufei; he had woken up and learned what had happened. Opening the door, he went in. Seeing the knife, and Heero's arm he walked over, "Heero, why would you go and do something like that?"  
  
"Don't worry I stopped, if I didn't I would be dead by now wouldn't I?"  
  
 "Good point my friend. So what all happened, I know it's a sensitive matter to talk about, but I'll try to help." Heero handed the letter to Wufei as he read it.  
  
 "She really does love you Yuy, she wouldn't have written this if she didn't care for you that much."  
  
 "I know, I know. I just don't know if I can live without her."  
  
"Sure you could. If you don't forget her like she said she'd be in your heart. She was also right about making more friends when you're like this. You're easier to live with. This war won't last forever, you'll see here again, Yuy, I can guarantee it."  
  
 "Thank you Wufei. You are a wonderful friend."  
  
Wufei got up and left, once he left Heero broke down in tears. Crying from everything in his life that from before he could never cry before all came out now. As he whispered "I'll never, never forget you Hoshi-Chan. Never…"  
  
*******************  
  
   Don't look back. You can't look back; you have to protect the others. Can't care about what you think, just what happens to the ones you love. Lets just hope this works. Taking a deep breath, the chestnut haired girl gave the attendant her passport. "Hoshi Yuy… you may board the shuttle." What can I say; I needed a name, why not remember Heero in a good way, ne?  
  
  Sitting towards the back of the shuttle, Hoshi sat down. People crowed on, but she ignored it all. An older man sat down next to her. "Why hello there, aren't you a lovely young lady."  
  
Opening her eyes the girl looked at the old man. He seemed fairly nice, must have a few grandchildren. "So what is a beautiful girl like you doing here alone?"  
  
 Still not saying anything, Hoshi turned and looked out the window. Why can't I just be left alone, right now? "Ahh, I can tell, your sad about something aren't you? Well, my child things will be better soon. This war won't last forever you know. We'll never know what will happen, when the time comes will know what to do…"  
  
 Turning to him she forced a smile. "Oh I'm sorry, an old man's mind seems to go sometimes, I won't bother you anymore."  
  
 "No, that's ok. You just remind me of someone I use to know."  
  
"Ah aha, and you had to leave him for some reason didn't you? But excuse me for being nosey."  
  
 She seemed to ignore his last comment, "Hai, I guess it's because I love him so much that I didn't want anything bad to happen to him. But I might end up putting us both through pain, I don't know if I made the right decision or not…"  
  
 "Well young lady, I don't know all the issues, but follow your heart. As I said before, love last forever, and you'll see him again."  
  
 Turning back to the window, Hoshi took one last look at the colony. "I can only hope…"  
  
   
  
************  
  
   This is now almost six years in the future. The war has ended, and the Gundams have returned to the colonies. Heero had went for a walk, and ended up at an old building on the corner of 54th Street.  
  
  Heero remembered the building. It was where he had gone with her. Was that really so long ago? Time seems to pass by with no meaning. I've come here everyday I've been here, and yet I still find nothing. Heero, you're an idiot to be doing this. You just make yourself worse. He laughed grimly to himself. He kept on coming only because he still had that letter, so it left some hope left. Laughing again, hope, eh Heero, your nuts. But might as well be don't have anything else.  
  
 Giving into his emotions he opened the door and walked in. Nothing… absolutely nothing, as he sighed the man walked around. The hope to see those smiling faces was still there. He had kept his promise, to watch over the children. But, not too long after she had left, the colony was attacked. The children were found and put in foster homes. He had failed, but he realized that it was better that way. He wouldn't be able to take care of them, and he did want to keep his promise.  
  
   Opening the door of an upstairs room, he looked around. It had been Sora's room. He had seen her not too long ago; she had found a nice family and had celebrated her thirteenth birthday. He couldn't be happier for her, and he bet that Hoshi would be happy too.  
  
  Brushing off a small desk that remained, he opened one of the drawers. There he found an old stuffed bear, and a picture frame. Setting the bear on the desk, Heero picked the frame up.  
  
  Sitting on a window ledge near by, brushing off the picture he looked at it. Tears came to the man's eyes, there she was. The girl he's dreamed about ever since she left. Her smile caressed his soul. Brushing at the tears, he put both the picture and teddy bear in his bag. Memories may hurt, but might as well keep the good ones while they last.  
  
  Exiting the building he went on, not knowing where he was going, not caring where he'd end. People passed by, lovers in each other's arms, hiding from the cold. Though no one was there for him, but he didn't care. There was only one for him; he'll wait for that day.  
  
*********************  
  
   Heero grabbed his jacket, and headed for the door. Duo yelled after him, "Hey, moron, where the hell are you going, it's raining out?"  
  
  Slamming the door behind him, the man left. Duo just laughed, "What's up with him?"  
  
"Baka, can you not remember what tonight is?" Wufei said angrily.  
  
 "Friday."  
  
"This was the night six years ago, that he had meet Hoshi, I think. Ironic that if it is, it raining again. Ah well…"  
  
   No one was out that night, which was all right with the Japanese. The rain felt soothing, as if it could cleanse all his wrongs in his life. Even knowing it never could happen, he wished it anyway. Strolling through a park, the rain fell harder. Sitting on a bench, he closed his Persian blue eyes. The presents of another arose his tension. Opening an eye, he eyed the other member who had joined the bench. There sat a young woman, with a hood pulled over her head. Mumbling under her breath, she tilted her head back. Closing her eyes, a hint of a smile came to her face. Lowering her head down again, her eyes reached those of Heero's. "You probably think I'm really odd now don't you?" Her voice seemed sweet, as if he had heard it before. "Well I don't care if you do. But if you care to know, today was an anniversary of mine. But, I'll leave you alone…"  
  
 "No, it doesn't bother me at all." She stood up and went in front of him as she laughed, "What now."  
  
 "Did you really forget me or can you not tell from the shadows on my face." Laughing again, her hood was pulled back. Heero's jaw nearly fell off. Could it really be her? "H… Hoshi?"  
  
 "Ya better believe it."  
  
"How the hell did you find me?" She smiled softly, "I came back here, and when to your guys house. I was hoping that you would still have it. Sure enough, everyone was there. I asked Duo where you were, and after his mouth could move again he said that you had went out. So, I figured that I would find you here…"  
  
 "I missed you so much." Blushing she smiled. Going to take a step back, Hoshi ended up slipping on some wet grass, and falling. Heero laughed, as she put a pouting look on her face. "What's so funny!?"  
  
"Nothing, just you. So where have you been for all these years?" Getting up, he stuck out a hand to help her. Just grinning, she took the hand and pulled him down. Though as she did, he himself had started to fall, and landed on top of her. "Why does it matter right now? Just be with me." Taking her hands, he rolled around, reversing their position. Her hood fell back onto her head, and the man laughed. Brushing back the hood, he ran his fingers threw her hair. Their eye's meet, as both grew the colors each missed so much. Enclosing his arms around her, pulling her near. "Ai Shiteiru Hoshi-Chan."  
  
 "Ai Shiteiru." Leaning up, he kissed her, with more passion than ever before. Slowly standing up, he kept her in his arms. They headed back to the house they had shared before. Resting her head on his shoulder, she sighed. A concerned look fell on his face, "What's wrong."  
  
 "Nothing, nothing at all. I'm just so happy to be here with you. Oh look, we're almost there. Man, does this bring back some memories or what?"  
  
 "Sure does. I promised I wouldn't forget you. After you had left the colony, it was attacked. I had been taking care of the children, but they had been taken and put into foster homes. Though I'm glad to say that I saw Sora not long ago, and she's doing fine. I never threw out that letter. When I had to leave, I ended up buying this house, since I knew I couldn't leave it. The other guys are all right. Duo got married, but later divorced. And the others well were just the same and would rather stay single. I've decided to live here, I guess. What about you, did you ever go to earth?"  
  
 "Yea, I traveled around a lot, but I couldn't find a place where I fit in. So, I decided to come back here. I arrived this evening, and had gone back to the home, and found out what had happened. I didn't think I would find you, but I had to try, so I went back here, and I found you. Ironic, ne?"  
  
   He just smiled, as he carried her up the stairs. Entering the house, seem like entering a world of memories for Hoshi. Tears of happiness filled her silver eyes. Hopping out of Heero's arms, she gave a hug and kiss on the cheek to each of the pilots. They sat on the couch for hours, talking about the last six years. Sharing good, funny, and sad events. Around midnight, Trowa, Quatre, and Duo said their goodnights. Turning back before entering the hall Duo smiled, "It's great to have ya back, Hoshi. Life is a whole lot better with you here. Don't plan on leaving anytime soon." He winked, as Heero threw a pillow after him.  
  
**********  
  
   Heero again picked Hoshi up into his arms. She smiled softly, "You know, if I'm around you too long them I may forget to know how to walk."  
  
 "Well if you ever did, then I'd just have to carry you everywhere now wouldn't I?"  
  
He took her from the living room to the bedroom. Before setting her down, he looked into her eyes. She blushed, "I missed your eye's too." He kissed her deeply. leaning her back onto the bed, his hand caressed her body. She could feel a grin come to his lips. Moving back, he eyed the beauty beneath him. "I missed you so much. I kept that promise, not to kill myself. But that night, I started to cut myself, and ended up stopping, that is how much I love you. I knew I would see you again."  
  
 "Well Heero-Chan, you were right. Don't ya just feel lucky?"  
  
*******************  
  
   Heero, you are one lucky guy. He let out a quite sigh. He didn't care how, but she was back. She had to be the one; he loved how her head always seemed to be able to fit right on his chest. How her heartbeat could calm the soul, and comfort anyone. Running his hands threw her hair; he leaned down, and kissed her.  
  
  She looked up at him, "I can be with you forever, you know, If we are meant to be. I guess we have time to see, ne?"  
  
 "Hai, we do. As I have said before when the time comes we'll know what to do, or say. I promise always to be here for you…"  
  
 "I promise too, to be here for your pain, and tears, happiness and depression. If we are meant to be, I'll make sure we are."  
  
 Kissing her again, his hand caressed her face, and ran threw her hair. She quickly fell asleep.  
  
 "I love you, Hoshi-chan, my Hoshi-Chan."  
  
 That night, Heero's pains washed away. He had reached his goal in life. The fear that hid inside was gone. The mountain was climbed heavens were reached. Both Heero, and Hoshi were happy. Together forever, time will tell. That night they didn't care.  
  
 Lost and found they both were. Lost in emotions too deep in fear and lack of kindness. Found by love. That night they slept in peace, each with the sign of peace, love, and happiness was on their face.  
  
    THE END 


End file.
